June 2012
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“I don’t like the idea of “understanding” a film. I don’t believe that rational...”
– Federico Fellini (via suzybishop)
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causeallidoisdance:
slumberblues:
...
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Mum: Why is your room always so messy?
Me: So that if someone comes in and tries to kill me, they'll trip over something and die.
This is now my new argument whenever someone asks me this.
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kjeldcake:
14-f-cali:
i never get hangovers it’s like my special power
i’ve never really been hungover too… i think we share a very special gift. but then again, i’ve never been drunk before, just very tipsy.
That special gift? It’s called youth.
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Being gay is fine. Being bisexual is fine. Being...
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save-before-you-quit:
littleyaoithings:
yes i support gay rights yes i would care if you died no i’m not going to reblog that post
^^^
THIS
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quimjet:
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Watchsaffythegeek:
grassleaves:
boldinthebroken:
milesjai:
WHAT THE HELL BBC. DYING.
FOR.EVER.RE.BLOG.
I love this so much xD
I’M DEAD! This is awesome.
Watching 'Thor' with my Dad, part 2
Dad: Hey, do you feel like some GoLean Crunch?
Later
Dad: Poor Thor, having problems with his hammer. I've been there, buddy.
Me: DAD NO DON'T SAY THINGS LIKE THIS.
Dad: DOES IT FREAK YOU OUT?
Me: YES.
Dad: NOW YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL WHEN YOU AND YOUR MOTHER MAKE JOKES ABOUT PERIODS AND STUFF.
Me: PERIODS ARE HILARIOUS.
Dad: SO ARE PENISES.
Me: NOT WHEN THEY'RE ATTACHED TO FAMILY MEMBERS.
Dad: PERIODS AREN'T FUNNY WHEN THEY'RE HAPPENING TO FAMILY MEMBERS.
Me: THEY ARE STILL FUNNY EVEN THEN. MAYBE FUNNIER.
Dad: Shh, Loki's talking!
Me: ...
Dad: ...Odin didn't die. Why did Loki say Odin died?
Me: He was lying.
Dad: Why did he lie?
Me: Because he does things like that.
Dad: Well, that's not very nice.
Later
Dad: Why are Thor's asshole friends going to go get Thor even after Loki told them no? He's the king!
Me: They're defying him.
Dad: But he's the king!
Me: I guess they don't care.
Dad: Assholes.
Later
Dad: OH MY GOD ITS A TRANSFORMER. I DIDN'T KNOW TRANSFORMERS WERE IN THOR.
Me: They aren't, it's a Destroyer, not a-
Dad: TRANSFORMERS IS DOING A CROSSOVER WITH THOR I LOVE THIS MOVIE.
Later
Dad: If Loki was helping the frost giants, why did he kill them just now?
Me: He was tricking them.
Dad: So he used his catatonic father as bait?
Me: Yeah.
Dad: That seems irresponsible.
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Watching 'Thor' with my Dad, part 3
Dad: Wait, Loki's destroying all the frost giants even though he is one?
Me: Yup.
Dad: Why?
Me: He's trying to prove to his father, and by extension all of Asgard, that he's really one of them and that he's worthy and mansome like Thor. Also, self-loathing.
Dad: If I were his dad, this wouldn't have happened.
Me: If you were Loki's dad, our children would be born without eyelids.
Later
Dad: OH NO
Me: Calm it down, dad.
Dad: HE'S CRYING AGAIN. I HATE IT WHEN HE CRIES. MAKE HIM STOP.
Me: *sigh* Oh, would that I could.
Dad: Do you think if I gave Odin a cow and some goats he would agree to have Loki marry you so you can make sure he never cries again?
Me: First of all, you live in the suburbs and have no livestock to speak of. Second, probably not, as I am a commoner and kind of gross-looking. Third, I strongly object to the prospect of being bartered.
Dad: You're right.
Me: Thank you.
Dad: I'd probably have to give him two cows.
Later
Dad: Loki just did a pole dance.
Me: *laugh*
Dad: He sits with his legs spread like a cheap strumpet and he twirls on a pole.
Me: *laugh*
Dad: Loki's a slut.
Later
Thor: *pins Loki down with Mjolnir*
Dad: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Loki: *yell* *squirm* *grunt*
Dad: HAHAHAHAHAHA OH MY GOD HAHAHAHAHA!
Later
Loki: I could have done it, father!
Dad: Oh my god.
Odin: No, Loki.
Dad: SHUT UP ANTHONY HOPKINS YOU NEGLECTFUL ASSHOLE. IF LOKI WERE MY SON I WOULD BE NICE TO HIM.
Me: *ruptures internal organs trying not to laugh*
Loki: ...
Dad: OH NO OH NO OH NO
Loki: *lets go of the spear*
Dad: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Thor: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Odin: No.
Dad: DAMNIT ODIN YOU AREN'T UPSET ENOUGH
Me: Dad, don't give yourself a palpitation.
Later
Dad: WTF Loki just comitted suicide and these assholes are throwing a feast and partying.
Me: ...
Dad: Assholegard!!!!
THE END
Watching 'Thor' with my Dad, part 1
Dad: LOOK THERE HE IS
Me: Dad, you're really beginning to worry me. It's like all of Tumblr escaped from the internet and took possession of your body. I don't know whether to call an exorcist or the Geek Squad.
Dad: SHH TOM IS TALKING.
Me: *facepalm*
Dad: Wow, he's so different from how he is in The Avengers.
Me: Yeah.
Dad: OH NO WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN TO HIM?!
Me: I've moved on from worry to total fear.
Later
Dad: What is their problem?! Why are they all so mean to Loki?
Me: Well, it's-
Dad: Because they're all ASSHOLES, that's why.
Me: ...
Dad: They oughta call that place Assholegard.
Me: ...
Dad: Assholegard: that's where they live.
Later
Dad: OH NO LOKI DON'T CRY
Me: Dad, you are terrifying me.
Dad: Look how sad he is! HIS WHOLE LIFE IS A LIE AND HE'S SO SAD.
Me: I regret the day I ever spoke Tom Hiddleston's name in your hearing.
Dad: How can he look that pretty when he cries? He must be part angel or something.
Me: Please stop.
Later
Dad: Natalie Portman sure is cute.
Me: *sigh of relief*
Later
Dad: OH MY GOD LOKI'S THE KING NOW.
Me: ...
Dad: ...Why is he sitting like that?
Me: I have no flipping idea. That's just how Tom sits. Movies, interviews, whatever, he just splays out like his thighs hate each other.
Dad: Maybe he's compensating for his tiny ass. Like, the area of contact between his ass and the chair would ordinarily be too small to keep him upright, so he spreads his legs apart in order to stabilize his balance.
Me: I cannot believe some of the things that come out of your mouth.
